Making Furniture

The beginner needs to realize that the difference between an amateur-looking furniture and a professional job, though important, is very small.

How to Make Furniture...

Often it is merely a matter of a piece of moulding or a corner brace, or a little extra sanding of the end grain.

In making a simple bedside lampstand and book­case, for example, the tyro probably would be con­tent with finishing everything off flush, and running the sides down to form feet. The professional, on the other hand, would give the top a slight over­hang and form a simple thumb moulding on three edges.

He would certainly enclose the space below the bottom shelf, and perhaps cut the skirt into a decorative shape. This base would have the effect of giving four feet to the cabinet, and allow it to stand more firmly on the floor.

The difference between the two jobs therefore would not be one of extra skill on the part of the professional, but of a practical application of a knowledge of design and the way these things are usually done for the best results.

The closed-in base, as can readily be seen, is better from every stand­point. It shuts off a space that would collect dust yet be too low to permit of its being swept out. Thus for very little extra expenditure of labor and material a much more impressive and expensive-looking job results.

This principle can be extended to all kinds of furniture and cabinet-making jobs, including the selection of tools and the care they receive after they have been acquired. The professional gets the best tools he can afford, and buys at the same time

Continued....
From "How to Make Your Own Furniture"
By: Henry Lionel Williams

Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp
Cathy Goodwin 
1239

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M.. Power, VP
Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Nefarious Airlines
We are sorry to learn that Fluffy feels humiliated if her cat carrier is marked Excess Baggage.

Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats.Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluffy on board in any capacity.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Mega Corp Human Resources
We're delighted to learn that you will be joining us for your extended leave. To move your household goods, we contracted with Organization Movers, The owner, Frankie Felon, got his start dealing questionable substances at networking parties in his MBA program. Frankie's lawyer, Big Tony, assures us Frankie has reformed.

To Organization Moving
From: Maybelle Misfire
I've always wanted to develop an ad campaign on the topic, Life without Furniture (not to mention clothing, dishes or sheets), and I am deeply grateful to your company for giving me an opportunity to experience this condition while my possessions remain lost somewhere near Delaware.

Since both my origin and destination are both west of the Mississippi, I'm glad my furniture will get to see something of the East Coast, even if I don't. However, my data collection is now approaching redundancy and I am ready to sleep in my own bed again.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Organization Moving
We can authorize temporary accommodations until your furniture arrives, but we cannot force any hotel on the planet to accept Fluffy, Tabby and Furball as guests.

Nor can we authorize restaurant meals for felines. We are sure Fluffy will recover from the trauma of eating off a paper plate on the floor.Alas, we don't have a Feline Therapy Unit, but Big Tony has offered to devote some quality one-on-one time to Fluffy's morale problem.

To: Customer Service, Organization Moving Corp.
From: Central Dispatch, Organization Moving Corp.

Who hired Driver Tom in the first place? When the Highway Patrol asks about funny-looking plants, our drivers are supposed to declare them as household geraniums, slightly wilted from travel trauma.

They are not supposed to say, Gee, I dunno, but it sure looks like something from the sixties, don't it?

After the entire van had been unloaded and inspected at the Oklahoma border, and all the dust analyzed, Tom just started driving east and didn't stop till he saw the ocean. It's up to the PR suits to tell Maybelle Misfire what happened to her stuff.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Customer Service, Organization Moving
We are genuinely sorry about the delay associated with delivery of your household goods. Believe me, our founders know all about life on the run.

We believe you will understand when we tell you that Driver Tom, one of our most experienced and dedicated professionals, halted his truck when he spied a cat caught in a tree on a freezing cold day. (OK, it was August, but he was in the mountains.)

Fortunately, ladders are standard equipment for Organization Movers. Driver Tom climbed the tree, rescued the cat and held its paw during surgery at the local veterinary hospital. After getting medical treatment for his own scratches, Tom climbed right back in his truck--but not before making sure that the cat would have a loving home with the veterinarian's assistant. We're sure you would have done the same.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M. Power, VP
Welcome to your new job. For your first project, we want you to analyze the customer service of our newest client -- our own Organization Movers.

Seems like they have a PR problem. Should be easy to fix.

On the other hand, you may have trouble getting primary data. Customers who complain tend to have forwarding addresses like, Lost Gulch, New Mexico.

If you like feline humor, you may enjoy my ebook, Maybelle Lives! and my advice to cats who move. For serious advice about moving with cats, consult my trade book, Making the Big Move.